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Kissing a Pig Quest/Spoiler
Required Equipment * Rope * Machete or Heavy Machete * Inkwell * 5 Picks (readily available in the Dwarf Mines, where they are required) * Fire Bug * 3 Liquid containers of Beer, Wine, Rum or Mead * Completion of the last seal in The Queen of the Banshees Quest; see that quest page for more information (you need a kiss from her). Method #Go to Thais Farm south of the Magic Shop. #You will see some pigs, one of them is a NPC. #If you ask the pig for a kiss, it will say that you need to improve your kissing skills. #To do this, you'll need to ask some NPCs to teach you how to kiss. Notes: * You do not need to talk with the pig between each mission. Only at the start and end do you need to speak with it. However, the responses from the pig do differ each time, so it may be interesting to do. * You can do the missions in any order. That is, if you have completed for example the banshee quest and asked the Banshee Queen for a kiss, repeating it is not required. The same goes for all other missions - you can do them in an arbitrary order. * In addition to the note above, completing The Queen of the Banshees Quest prior to this quest's implementation should not hinder your progress of this quest. Saving Carmellia .]] Travel to Hoggle's fishing hut far north-east of Thais (here), and inquire about his unusual garden growth. He will speak of his aching back and request that you trim his grass for a meagre 5 gold reward. Take your machete (or heavy machete) and cut the jungle grass growing in his yard (through the sealed door). Cut enough grass that you get an orange message stating that you "advanced in lawn mowing", and return to Hoggle about his garden being trimmed; you are given 5 gold. Note: ''' if Hoggle does not respond as he should, as in the transcripts below, chances are that you have completed this part already. Now that you have become more skilled in cutting grass, you can cut the rapidly-growing grass at Femor Hills (and prevent it from growing under your feet). Head to the Femor Hills and search for the tower barred by the grass. Use your machete on the grass and climb to the top of the tower. On the top floor, talk to Caramellia and about her husband '''Winfred, and quote his letter True love never dies. Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss. Poem for Elvith In the elven town of Ab'dendriel you have to go visit Elvith and ask him for a kiss. He will not reveal his secrets of kissing to the unworthy, so you have to impress him with a poem. To write poetry you need an inkwell and blank poetry parchment, the latter you can buy from the NPC Olrik (the Ab'Dendriel postman, in the southernmost building). Use the inkwell on the parchments until you get a perfect poem (4 times). You see a parchment. It weighs 2.00 oz. It says 'Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.' Excellent!. Notes: ''' *You can only write on the poetry parchment in between your two encounters with Elvith. Elvith will take your poem when you talk to him again, so be sure to make more than one poem if you wish to keep one. *In extension of the above; if you cannot use the inkwell on the parchment, you have already completed this part. Now go back to Elvith and give him the '''poem. Optionally, return to the pig and ask for another kiss. Ice cream for Lynda In Thais you have to go see the NPC Lynda of the Temple. She is unwilling to discuss kissing with you, but luckily you will be able to persuade her with some venorean ice cream. Either head into Venore yourself or have someone else go to the top floor of the depot and trade with the NPC Boozer. He sells venorean ice cream. You need to deliver it to Lynda before it melts (2 minutes). Notes: ''' * You can have someone in Venore to send the ice cream to Thais, however it will also melt in your depot. * If you are heading into Venore yourself, finish the next mission before you go buy the ice cream. Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss. Play with Zebron Go to Venore, search for the NPC Zebron under the depot. Ask him for a '''Kiss and tell him that you are Worthy. He will invite you to play dice. In order for him to tell you his kissing secrets, you have to win three times in a row (winning a game doesn't cost you anything, if you lose he will take 25 gold). Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss. Favour for Dwarven Ghost .]] 's room in Kazordoon. Notice the chest and basin.]] Head to the Dwarf Mines and to the NPC Budrik (the north-westernmost mine). He will ask 5 Picks from you in exchange for access to the Grothmok Tunnel. The dwarves carry the picks, so it is not necessary to bring them from town. Once you are granted access, head toward the fifth floor (4 floors below Budrik). To the south of the rope hole, there's a room (to which you just granted access). In the back of the room is the NPC a dwarven ghost (here). If you ask him for a '''kiss' he responds that he will only in return of a favour (note the British spelling, saying favor does not trigger his response). In return for his knowledge about kissing he wants that you find and burn his fake beard. Bring a firebug and head to his room in the Kazordoon Quarters, west of the Upper Barracks (here). A coal basin lies in his apartment, as well as the chest containing his beard. Once inside, open the chest and find his beard; light the coal basin using the firebug (it burns for about 2 minutes), and use the beard on it while it is lit. If questing in groups, each player does not need to light the basin - all that is required is burning the beard. Return to a dwarven ghost and tell him you have burnt his beard. Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss. Kiss Toothless Tim In the sewer of Carlin you will find the drunk NPC Toothless Tim, in the underground bar. (Use the sewers right in front of the depot, and head to the south) In order to understand what he says, you yourself must be drunk. You need to drink 3 containers of liquor (Beer, Wine, Rum or Mead; the nearby NPC Karl sells mugs of Beer for 20 gold each) and then ask Tim for a kiss. Now that you're able to understand his drunk mumbling, also his secrets about kissing are revealed to you. Optionally, return to the pig (NPC) and ask for another kiss. Kiss from The Queen Of The Banshee Notes: ''' * If you already kissed The Queen Of The Banshee, you can skip this mission, go kiss the pig and claim your reward. * When this quest was implemented, there was a bug that allow players finish it without kissing to the Queen. The bug was fixed and this is not longer possible. You need to have done all the seals of the Banshee Quest, so that you can get a kiss from The Queen Of The Banshee. Go to The Queen Of The Banshee, guarded by 4 banshees and a lot of other creatures, and ask her for a '''kiss. If you have done all missions, you can go back to the pig (NPC) and kiss it again. The pig will reveal it isn't a cursed prince/princess, but will reward you for your effort. If all is correct you can get the reward (a Firlefanz) in the cellar of the farmhouse near the pig (some steps to the west). Dialogs transcription Saving Carmellia * Pig in Thais Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Uhhh. Well, that was ... promising. But you are FAR from being the best kisser in the land. Player: bye pig: Bye. * Hoggle in Thais Player: hi Hoggle: Welcome to my humble home! Player: garden Hoggle: My garden is full of wild-growing plants and my back is aching like hell. Perhaps you are interested in cutting these pest plants... Hoggle: I'll give you 5 shiny pieces of gold for this job. Is this a deal? Player: yes Hoggle: Excellent. You will have to rattle at the garden gate a bit to get it open, it's quite old, you know. Tell me about the garden when you are finished. Player: bye Hoggle: Good bye. *Hoggle, after cutting the grass. Player: hi Hoggle: Welcome to my humble home! Player: garden Hoggle: I hope you were diligent and accurate. Here is your gold. Don't spend it on alcohol or tobacco! Player: bye Hoggle: Good bye. * Caramellia in Femor Hills Player: hi Caramellia: Hello. Player: Winfred Caramellia: All is lost. With Winfred dead, my love has died and I am only an empty shell without hope or purpose. Player: True love never dies Caramellia: Those were his words, weren't they? Player: yes Caramellia: Yes, it's true, he is so right. As long as I remember the love and happiness we shared, neither love nor my beloved will be truly dead ... Caramellia: They will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you stranger, for reminding me about it. Know that life is like a kiss of lovers ... Caramellia: It's about sharing emotions and feelings, it's about knowing that you are not alone but belong to something greater, something more beautiful ... Caramellia: Keep this in mind and your life will improve and so will your kisses. Player: bye Caramellia: Good bye. * Pig in Thais (optional) Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Uhhh. Well, that was ... promising. But you are FAR from being the best kisser in the land. Player: bye pig: Bye. Poem for Elvith * Elvith in Ab'Dendriel Player: hi Elvith: Ashari Player. Player: kiss Elvith: I will not share the secrets of kissing with someone not worthy. Impress me! Write a good love poem and then show it to me ... Elvith: You can buy poetry parchment at the Thaian embassy. Use an inkwell on it to write a poem. Player: bye Elvith: Asha Thrazi. You see a parchment. It weighs 2.00 oz. It says 'Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.' Excellent!. Player: hi Elvith: Ashari Player. Player: poem Elvith: Do you have a love poem that might impress me? Player: yes Elvith: You are a pure genius! You should really consider writing a few songs for me. It's a pleasure to share my little secrets with you. So listen . Player: bye Elvith: Asha Thrazi. * Pig in Thais (optional) Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Mhmm. Nice try. You definitely have some experience but you should improve your skill DRASTICALLY. Player: bye pig: Bye. Ice cream for Lynda * Boozer in Venore Player: hi Boozer: Welcome to the Hard Rock Racing Track, Player. Player: buy Venorean ice cream Boozer: Ah the sweet Venorean ice cream. Just the right thing to make a day at the racing track even more enjoyable! Do you want to buy an ice cream for 10 gold? Player: yes Boozer: Here it is. Be careful it will last only a few minutes in this climate. Better eat it at once. You see an ice cream cone. It weighs 1.00 oz. It's the famous Venorean Dream flavour, but the ice cream is melting rapidly. Player: bye Boozer: You'll be back. * Lynda in Thais Player: hi Lynda: Welcome in the name of the gods, pilgrim Player! Player: venorean ice cream Lynda: Are you saying you have ... some Venorean ice cream for me??? Player: yes Lynda: Oh, that is marvellous. Thank you very much. You know, I just LOVE ice cream! Of course it can't be compared to the love to the gods ... Lynda: To truly love is pure happiness of heart and soul. Player: bye Lynda: Good bye, Player. May the gods guard you, my child! * Pig in Thais (optional) Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Mhmmm. Oh my, you have learnt a few tricks indeed. But it takes more to become the best kisser in the world. FAR more. Player: bye pig: Bye. Play with Zebron * Zebron in Venore Player: hi Zebron: Greetings, high roller. So you care for a game, Player? Player: kiss Zebron: Ah, love is the most exciting game of all. I've learnt a few tricks of this game, too and I might share them with someone worthy. Player: worthy Zebron: If you want to learn my kissing secrets, you will have to beat me in a game of dice first! Your bet is 25 gold a game, beat me 3 times in a row and I will tell you all my littlesecrets. Are you interested? Player: yes Zebron: You win with * over *. You'll keep your 25 gold this time. Are you ready for another game? Player: yes Zebron: You win with * over *. You'll keep your 25 gold this time. Are you ready for another game? Player: yes Zebron: You win with * over *. I'm mildly impressed. You've beaten me 3 times in a row, so what? Oh well, now listen to my secrets: . Interesting,isn't it? Player: bye Zebron: Hey, you can't leave. Luck is smiling on you. I can feel it! Note: * is a number between 1-6 (inclusively). * Pig in Thais (optional) Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Mhm Uhhh. Not bad, not bad at all! But you can still improve your skill a LOT. Player: bye pig: Bye. Favour for Dwarven Ghost * Budrik in Kazordoon Player: hi Budrik: Hiho, hiho Player. Player: pick Budrik: You brought the picks? Player: yes Budrik: Not the best craftsmanship but they'll do. As promised I grant you permission to enter the Grothmok tunnels. Good luck. Player: bye Budrik: Bye, bye. * a dwarven ghost in Kazordoon Player: hi a dwarven ghost: Do not disturb the dead for nothing, mortal. Player: kiss a dwarven ghost: My secrets about kissing have died with me. I alone know them, so they are well kept ... But ... thinking about it ... a dwarven ghost: Not all of my secrets are really well kept. There is one thing you could do for me, mortal. One favour by you to gain a favour of me. Player: favour a dwarven ghost: I don't want the legend about myself to be ruined. Therefore, I need you to do something for me. Go to my quarters in Kazordoon ... a dwarven ghost: In my drawer you will find ... a false beard ... don't ask any questions mortal! Light the coal basin in my chambers and burn the damned beard in it ... a dwarven ghost: If you are done, forget that you have ever entered my quarters. Come here and I will tell you what you want to know! Player: bye a dwarven ghost: Death will find you, too. You see a fake dwarven beard. It weighs 0.50 oz. Player: hi a dwarven ghost: Do not disturb the dead for nothing, mortal. Player: beard a dwarven ghost: Indeed, you have served me well. Now my legend is preserved once and for all. I will grant you the knowledge that you are seeking. Hereby, I pass a portion ofmy knowledge to your mind ... a dwarven ghost: Ahhh, it's done. Now you know as much about kissing as I did during my lifetime. Player: bye a dwarven ghost: Death will find you, too. * Pig in Thais (optional) Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Ahhh. That was really nice. But you STILL lack the refinement of perfection. Player: bye pig: Bye. Kissing Toothless Tim * Toothless Tim in Carlin (while drunk) Player: hi Toothless Tim: Greetings my friend. What a splendid day we have, don't you agree. Player: kiss Toothless Tim: Ah, the joyous art of kissing is a sophisticated thing indeed. In my youth I enjoyed the delights of kissing with a few fine ladies. Would you like to learn more about kissing? Player: yes Toothless Tim: I could tell you much about kissing but I rather show you how to kiss properly. Are you prepared? Player: yes Toothless Tim: Mhmmmm. You don't kiss bad for a guy. Player: bye Toothless Tim: Good bye my friend. It was a pleasure to have a conversation with you. * Pig in Thais (optional) Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Mhm. Ahh. In ... incredible ... but ... I fear there's still something to learn for you. Player: bye pig: Bye. Kiss from The Queen Of The Banshee * The Queen Of The Banshee Player: hi The Queen of the Banshee: Be greeted, dear visitor. Come and stay ... a while. Player: kiss The Queen of the Banshee: Player: bye The Queen of the Banshee: We will meet again. * Pig in Thais Player: hi pig: Oink. Player: kiss pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss? Player: yes pig: Uhh. Ahh. Mhm. By the gods, you are really and truly the best kisser in the whole land. But ... I'm afraid I have to confess something ... pig: There is no curse. I'm nothing than an ordinary pig that is able to speak by coincidence and loves to kiss. But your efforts shall not go unrewarded ... pig: Of course I can't marry you - my mother would turn on her skewer. But I can tell you the hiding-place of some ancient sword ... pig: Look in the basement of this farm. You should find a chest there containing the mighty Firlefanz. Player: bye pig: Bye.